Home, Sweet Home

[sharpwit]

 Sharp Wit's apartment, on the third floor, looked awfully small from the outside. Then again, it was fairly small once one got inside as well. 'Heh, if I ever "retire" I'll have to get the Doctor to redecorate for me.' He snorted, ignoring the confused expressions this received.

Perhaps it was a side effect of Agent Noise's magic, but everypony seemed reluctant to speak, even as they filed into the small apartment – though one didn't need Primeval's scanning gizmos to see that they were all more relaxed off the streets. Skulls from every race lined the bookshelves, all eccentrically decorated with what seemed like hats from their place of origin. Papers were strewn out everywhere, along with cups, plates, takeout bins, and several feathers (presumably those of the Inspector's and his birds). The one room with a door was shut, with a large sign on the door. The sign, in big bold letters, read DO NOT ENTER! PRIVATE!

It was one of Sharp's quirks that while he loathed the inane prattling of lesser minds, he also hated the sort of silence that came from ponies not speaking. "*Ahem*, well then." He cleared his throat, receiving far less satisfaction from startling the others than he might have under other circumstances. "I suppose you're all wondering why I have called everyone here today..." he grinned, "My apologies, I've always wanted to say that. But in all seriousness, we need to figure out what we are going to do."

He paced, ignoring the small voice in his head –Not Meee shush, you– ... that pointed out how much like the Doctor the affectation was.
"Let us put together the facts, as we currently understand them: The city is under siege by an army of emotion-devouring shape-shifters." He stomped, "The city's defenses are both occupied and outmatched, though I have... reasons... to believe that issue will work itself out. As well we have Riptide, a natural predator of the Changelings, as well as my own not-insignificant expertise." Modesty was for those arrogant enough to be humble.

"More of concern, Torchwhoof has managed to destroy not only itself, but the stability of space-time in the vicinity of it's failed time-travel device." Despite the Inspector's penetrating gaze, Turner gave not one hint of recognition beyond the same stupefied expression Miss Carrot shared.

"We have one rather weak bit of information left behind by the Doctor, which seems mostly to say that we are in an unspecified danger and the tool with which to solve the problem doesn't yet exist." Sharp's expression turned especially dour, "In addition, we can completely rule out the intervention of any other instance of the Doctor or other time travelers conveniently showing up and saving us, because the ... 'time crash' has managed to break the temporal continuity of our immediate area." He grinned, because the solution to this problem had been blindingly obvious.

"Of course, all that means is that–"

A loud banging on the door of Sharp Wit's apartment interrupted the pegasus's speech. Growling, the grey pegasus trotted over to the front door and opened up a small slot to see the unwanted visitor. "This is a private residence, and it's cramped as it is, so-"

The visitor turned his head to reveal all too familiar features- A gold face adorned with a scraggly grey beard and wise grey eyes. "Sharp, oh thank Sisters I found you!" Golden Scales sighed in relief. "I've got to talk to you! Please, let me in!"

Sharp stood silent for a while, his face expressionless. "Prove you aren't a changeling," he said simply, an obvious lack of tone in his voice.

"Oh shit, hold on..." the golden stallion screwed up his face in concentration before brightening up. "I, Golden Scales, Inspector of the Equestrian Bureau of Investigation, West Canterlot Division, have been assigned this identification phrase: I am useful to some, useless to others, I haunt the minds of all. All avoid having me, yet all strive to keep me- for I cause empires to fall."

"You are a secret," the Inspector replied, emotionless. Slowly, he opened to door to the unicorn, signalling to his compatriots to approach the door.

Golden grabbed Sharp with his forelegs and pulled him into a hug. "I was so worried about you," he sighed in relief. "Everything's mayhem outside, the changelings took Celestia, and I just found out something huge-" Suddenly, realizing that the Inspector had guests, the gold stallion pulled away from the grey, obviously confused. "Sharp, who are these guys?" he asked, obviously concerned.